Challenges of a Doctor Mom in COVID-19 Pandemic

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A mother is the best support system for a family. The whole family look towards her for care and pampering. The most loved person for a child. Owing to her sacrifices a mother has been termed as a Goddess by hypocrites.

 “…Forsake not the law of thy mother…for the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light.”

A Proverb.

They say “The mother is the light of the home”.

Similarly, A doctor is the savior for patients. A doctor works day in and day out for the cause of service to humanity. During COVID-19 pandemic the responsibilities and expectations from a doctor are sky high. The life savers, following their Hippocratic oath has also got a status of God.

“In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods, than in giving health to men“

Marcus Tullius Cicero

But how about being a mother and a doctor at the same time?

What if one has to prove herself to the Hypocrites and to fulfill her Hippocratic oath simultaneously?

Me as a doctor, and being an administrator in one of the premier institutions of Healthcare, found COVID-19 pandemic as the most challenging period of my life.

My day starts when I leave home early morning kissing my 4 year old daughter, Mishti. Who is still in her sleep.

My hospital has started receiving confirmed COVID-19 cases and suspects. I take utter precautions using PPEs while in Hospital, still at the end of the day I am not 100% sure if I got exposed to the Virus or not.

The face of my little Mishti flashes before my eyes, every time I see a kid running around the hospital. Its been a long time I spent a complete day with her. What she be doing this time? May be watching cartoons? or playing with her toys. Don’t wanting to touch my phone but willing to hear her voice, I get myself indulged in work with watery eyes.

I have to be physically, mentally as well as emotionally strong. I chose to be what I am. Sacrifices that no one acknowledges and I have to keep going.

Working in long shifts is the reality and the need of the hour. While going back home the thought of carrying infection to my home, keeps hovering in my mind. I can take risk for my self but am I putting my family at risk?

It is my routine to take something for Mishti everyday. Even during complete lock-down, I managed something for her be it chocolates, ice-cream, balloons or even a toy. I had requested one shopkeeper to keep his shop open despite of lock-down and he do it, empathizing with me, understanding me being a “DOCTOR”.

Reaching home I had to sanitize my self. Take a shower and put clothes for a wash. Mishti have to wait till then. The moment I hug her fills me with a sense of sorry to her childhood. I am still in doubt that I am free from any infection.

I remember tears rolling out from my eyes when she once said, “You are a very bad mamma, it is because of you that I have to watch cartoons all day and I keep waiting for you the whole day. But you don’t come”. I gave her the chocolates I brought for her, she forget everything when it comes to chocolates.

But, this fills me with guilt and with self introspection. Am I doing justice with my kid? At the same time, a sense of insecurity is growing inside me as whether my kid would ever forgive me for this? or perhaps growing her up with this will weaken our relationship.

“A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis about her child than a poor doctor “

August Bier

The profession of a doctor demands your blood and sweat so does a relationship of a mother and daughter. I am standing between the lines. The lines of being a responsible mother and a responsible Doctor.

I pray to god, harder than ever, that this COVID-19 mess get over soon.

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PS: Its her birthday this week and I have planned for a leave already. Mind is still occupied with thoughts of my patients, their management, can’t just stay out of it.

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